A LITTLE MEDIATION GOES A LONG WAY

On March 11,2020, when Hungary (the country in which I now reside) declared a state of emergency, staying reasonably sane became a little more difficult. There was a bombardment of information to keep straight and with family living in different countries and in different time zones and all being in different places on all the Covid-19 models and graphs, there was an endless torrent of statistics and protocols to keep up with. As the news and details and regarding the pandemic unfolded dramatically every day, actually it was every hour, it was not only overwhelming but at times conflicting.

Stay isolated but stay connected

Relax and veg, laze and watch but ramp up your exercise routine, learn a new skill

Eat what you want but watch what you eat

It was sometime during the first week of quarantine that I noticed I had stopped my routine morning mediation. My new habit was to catch up with the latest family news and commiserations the moment my right eyelid cracked opened. I searched and scrolled to keep updated and my ability to settle into stillness and silence, focus on breath and meditate was assaulted by a constant buzz of input. Irritation and agitation were common feelings as I found my capacity to hold conflicting emotions to be diminished by fear and anxiety. I did not want to feel disdain for those who had ideas and theories that were different from mine. I wanted to feel compassion for people not threatened by them. I did not want to have fear of other people. I wanted to smile and nod a welcome. I wanted to celebrate when my youngest finished his undergrad and received acceptance into the Master’s program. I needed to feel the intensity of joy and relief when my mother completed her year of weekly chemotherapy treatments. I wanted to experience the jubilation with my son and daughter-in-law as they purchased their first home. There also had to be a way to find space for the daily things that brought me joy – smelling strawberries touched by the heat of the sun, donning a fun outfit, seeing the tomato varietals at the market, or cooking a delicious meal.

A book on my bedside table, Neuberg and Waldman’s How God Changes Your Brain: Breakthrough findings from a leading Neuroscientist, explains how meditation strengthens a specific neurological circuit that generates peacefulness, social awareness and compassion for others and that spiritual practices, even when stripped of religious beliefs improve physical and emotional health. When we perceive God with a benevolent personality (which I do), the anterior cingulate cortex is activated, generating feelings of empathy, tolerance and acceptance towards others in the frontal lobe while decreasing activity in the limbic system and amygdala thereby subduing our anger and fear. There are exercises that I could do that would help expand my capacity for compassion and empathy. This is what I needed to hear.

I had been telling myself that my response and reaction to social media and the news regarding Covid-19 was an expected and natural response to a pandemic, but I could not negate the niggling I had that it was not necessarily the best response. Feelings of anxiety, depression and anger had settled in very quickly and had soon become my “new normal” but I wanted to know how and why this was happening and how I could address it. Attending to my spirit was as important as watching what I eat and doing my necessary menopausal stretching and strengthening exercises. I needed to exercise my brain in a loving and compassionate way. I needed to begin my mediation practice once again.

There is so much more that I would like to share with you all but thought that it would be vulgar not to acknowledge the sadness of the situation we find ourselves in worldwide. I look forward to meeting with you in this space again soon and sharing life together.